“Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
This verse in Hebrews defines my entire childhood. What other eyes saw on the outside was not what went on inside the pristine Victorian home. It was a residence of prestige, but one that brought great sorrow to my heart. It was a home of ashes, but ashes that God gave magnificent beauty too and an unending hope. God always helped me to find the silver lining despite the dark clouds of fear and turmoil.
I would stare out the large window of my bedroom to the park and river which flowed in the valley below as only the lace curtains hid the tears from others to see. I remember vividly asking God why. I wished beyond hope I would open my eyes and be reborn into the Morford family. They lived around the block from me and I adored Susan and Amy.
I worked endlessly…tirelessly to gain my mother’s love and my father’s accolades. I was quiet most of the time. I would be truthful in saying, not many knew me well my childhood years. Some might have seen a glimpse of fun spirit and maybe Betsy knew me the best, but I hid much from her as well. I never cried much for anyone to see, but my bedroom was my refuge. I would close the door and have long tearful conversations with my Abba; my best friend then…my best friend now. He would always seem to make my broken heart new again and more able to face the next day with hope and assurance to confidently tread the path of life.
Even though it was great heartache growing up in that old house on River Road, I wouldn’t change a thing. It made me who I am today. I’ve seen dreams that move mountains, hope that never ends, and silent prayers answered….that’s what faith can do! I learned that even in the dark there is still light and I am never alone!
“He gave me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”
Thank you Jesus, Susan and Amy, Betsy, Amy, Toni, Mr. and Mrs. Morford, Mr. and Mrs. Henwood, Mr. and Mrs. David Howells, Joyce Dinsmore, Mr. Cumo, Coach Sue, Mrs. Pilarski, my beloved Grandma Bowser, Joy, Shane, Shawn, Scott and Penny, Grandma and Pap-Pap Romigh, Uncle Jack, Megan and Kelly Romigh, and Aunt Carol, for helping me shelter the weather of the storms of childhood. You may never know how much you meant to a young girl so many years ago!