Thursday, June 4, 2009

The stature of my body is low with my shoulders hunched down. I find myself day dreaming away into sadness where joy goes missing. I think, to be busy, is the best solution...if I don't have time to think I won't be sad. But why sad? I ask myself. I have a good life.

I sit on the patio and thoroughly enjoy the beautiful colors in the newly planted flowers. I listen to the birds chirp and sing from the tress. I feel the cool crisp air against my cheeks. But my annoying friend, sadness, will not release it's grip from my mind. I miss friends from Iowa and Indiana. I long for my mother's love. I wish the Lord would just come back sooner rather than later to put sadness in its place forevermore!
And then I'm reminded of a verse, Philippians 4:8,

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."
Tears flooded my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. I cried out to my Lord in prayer as David did so many times...

O Father rid me of my own wretched downcast spirit. Lift my eyes up to where the Son is found and not below to the pits of hell. Fill my cup with unspeakable joy that only the sound of laughter would be heard from my lips. Let the afflictions of my heart be tossed to sea. Those who have hurt me with idle talk, not knowing my past or present circumstance, forgive them my Lord and show them the hurt they have caused so healing may begin. Help me Lord not to sin against myself, your creation made in the image of You, in slandering myself to unworthiness. Help to always know and realize I am loved by the great I Am because the one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world (I John 4:4). Do not let my heart be troubled, but let me rest in the peace of thy mighty hand for I am the one whom Jesus loves!